wth is wrong with me????????urgh....


alright people, this blog will currently be on hiatus, i dont know how long so just erm...stay tuned... bye

some people just have no regard for other people's feelings whatsoever... so f**k off if you wanna insult me or my closed ones. keep your opinions to yourself. or you're gonna be in for some pain all you a**holes.

hi people! yes yes im back in singapore. dont know how to face teachers tmr...confirm nag nag nag at me...LOL. well the all la, i know you all miss me right? justwant tell you all dont need miss me liao mah. i so nice right? :D ZZZZZZzzzZZZzzZzzz.................im sleeping liao .byebye

alright...i have like so many photos to post up. so please please people! must tag and scold me if i procrastinate about posting them up soon okay?!?!?!?well have been having lots of fun i guess. been to the beach every day. the wind is practically cold like air-con cold. until i got flu liao. how great is that. :S. anyway. just wanted to say.

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

i know its kinda late. but when it comes to happy stuff. its never to late right? :D well that all al. ciao people! :D

hey people! im finally in malaysia! haha! shall update if possible! right now going to just slack. still got homework though....screw the homework....

alright im going off to malaysia now.dont miss me kay? just hope weiting sees this.

WEITING! I GO THERE NO COMPUTER LEI! HOW TO

FINISH THE TRAINING PLAN BY WEDNESDAY! :S sian.....

ALL RIGHT. first of all those stories are not mine la! LOL. :S and...my next story i kope-d totally sweet la this one. tell me you did not feel your heart cringe of something.or put a smile on your face. :D and you are really like heartless of something.LOL.Title?




LOVING AN IMPERFECT PERSON :D




They have been married for two years. He loves literature and often posts his work on the net, but nobody ever reads them. He is also into photography and he handles their wedding photos. He loves her very much. Likewise with her. She has a quick temper and always bullies him. He is a gentleman and always gives in to her.

Today, she's being willful again.

Her: "Why can't you be the photographer for my friend's wedding? She promised she'd pay."
Him: "I don't have time that day."
Her: "Humph!"
Him: "Huh?"
Her: "Don't have time? Write less of those novels, and you will have all the time you need."
Him: "I... someone will definitely recognize my work some day."
Her: "Humph! I don't care, you'll have to do it for her!"
Him: "No."
Her: "Just this once?"
Him: "No."

Negotiation's broken. So, she gave the final warning: "Give me a Yes within three days, or else..."

First day, she "withheld" the kitchen, bathroom, computer, refrigerator, television, hi-fi... Except the double bed, to show her "benevolence".

Of course, she has to sleep on it too. He didn't mind, as he still has some cash in his pockets.

Second day, she conducted a raid and removed everything from his pockets and warned, "Seek any external help, and you bear the consequences."

He's nervous now. That night, on the bed, he begs for mercy, hoping that she'll end this state. She doesn't give a damn. No way am I giving in, whatever he says. Until he agrees.

Third day, night. On the bed. He's lying on the bed, looking to one side. She's lying on the bed, looking to the other side.

Him: "We need to talk."
Her: "Unless it's about the wedding, forget it."
Him: "It's something very important."

She remains silent.

Him:"Let's get a divorce."
She did not believe her ears.
Him: "I got to know a girl."

She's totally angry, and wanted to hit him. But she held it down, wanting to let him finish. But her eyes already felt wet. He took a photo out from his chest. Probably from his undershirt pocket, that's the only place she didn't go through yesterday. How careless.

Him: "She's a nice girl."
Her tears fell.

Him: "She has a good personality too."
She's heartbroken because he puts a photo of some other girl close to his heart.
Him: "She says that she'll support me fully in my pursue for literature after we got married."

She's very jealous because she said the same thing in the past.
Him: "She loves me truly."
She wishes to sit up and scream at him "Don't I?"
Him: "So, I think she won't force me to do something that I don't want to do."

She's thinking, but the rage won't subside.
Him: "Want to take a look at the photo I took for her?"
Her: "...!"

He brings the photo before her eyes. She's in a total rage, hits his hand away and leaves a burning slap on his face.

He sighs. She cries.
He puts the photo back to his pocket. She pulls her hand back under the blanket.

He turns off the light, and sleeps. She turns on the light, and sits up. He's asleep. She lost sleep. She regrets treating him the way she treated him.

She cried again, and thought about a lot of things. She wants to wake him up. She wants to have a intimate talk with him. She doesn't want to push him anymore. She stares at his chest. She wants to see how the girl looks.

She slips the photo out. She wanted to cry and she wanted to laugh.

It's a nicely taken photo. A photo he took for her. She bends down, and kissed him on his cheek.

He smiled. He was just pretending to be asleep.

"You learn to love, not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly."

i know i know...i suppose to be sleeping now... because of the effect of my medicine...got 2 days MC btw...... LOL. but, watching obama's speech is really just scary. wakes you up like immediately... dont even have to look at the video. listen liao oso got goosebumps. the goosebumps you get when you start thinking. "dammit...that guy cannot be describe in any other way, but just to say that he IS A GREAT MAN" haha, well enjoy. :D

He was driving home one evening, on a two-lane country road. Work, in this small Midwestern community, was almost as slow as his beat-up Pontiac, but he never quit looking. Ever since the factory closed, he'd been unemployed, and with winter raging on, the chill had finally hit home. It was a lonely road. Not many people had a reason to be on it, unless they were leaving. Most of his friends had already left. They had families to feed and dreams to fulfill, but he stayed on. After all, this was where he buried his mother and father. He was born here and knew the country. He could go down this road blind, and tell you what was on either side, and with his headlights not working, that came in handy. It was starting to get dark and light snow flurries were coming down. He'd better get a move on. You know, he almost didn't see the old lady, stranded on the side of the road. But even in the dim light of day, he could see she needed help. So he pulled up in front of her Mercedes and got out. His Pontiac was still sputtering when he approached her. Even with the smile on his face, she was worried. No one had stopped to help her for the last hour or so. Was he going to hurt her? He didn't look safe, he looked poor and hungry. He could see that she was frightened, standing out there in the cold. He knew how she felt. It was that chill that only fear can put in you. He said, "I'm here to help you, ma'am. Why don't you wait in the car where it's warm? By the way, my name is Joe." Well, all she had was a flat tire, but for an old lady, that was bad enough. Joe crawled under the car looking for a place to put the jack, skinning his knuckles a time or two. Soon he was able to change the tire, but he had to get dirty and his hands hurt. As he was tightening the lug nuts, she rolled down her window and began to talk to him. She told him that she was from St. Louis and was only passing through. She couldn't thank him enough for coming to her aid. Joe just smiled as he closed her trunk. She asked him how much she owed him. Any amount would have been all right with her. She had already imagined all the awful things that could have happened had he not stopped. Joe never thought twice about the money. This was not a job to him. There was someone in need, and God knows there were plenty who had given him a hand in the past. He had lived his whole life that way, and it never occurred to him to act any other way. He told her that if she really wanted to pay him back, the next time she saw someone who needed help, she could give that person the assistance that they needed, and Joe added "...think of me." He waited until she started her car and drove off. It had been a cold and depressing day, but he felt good as he headed home, disappearing into the twilight. A few miles down the road the lady saw a cafe. She went in to grab a bite to eat, and take the chill off before she made the last leg of her trip home. It was a dingy looking restaurant. Outside were two old gas pumps. The whole scene was unfamiliar to her. The cash register was like the telephone of an out of work actor - it didn't ring much. Her waitress came over and brought a clean towel to wipe her wet hair. She had a sweet smile, one that even being on her feet for the whole day couldn't erase. The lady noticed that the waitress was nearly eight months pregnant, but she never let the strain and aches change her attitude. The old lady wondered how someone who had so little could be so giving to a stranger. Then she remembered Joe. After the lady had finished her meal, and the waitress went to get her change from a hundred dollar bill, the lady slipped right out the door. She was gone by the time the waitress came back. She wondered where the lady could be, then she noticed something written on a napkin. There were tears in her eyes when she read what the lady wrote. It said:


"You don't owe me a thing, I've been there too. Someone once helped me out, the way I'm helping you. If you really want to pay me back, here's what you do... Don't let the love end with you."



Well, there were tables to clear, sugar bowls to fill, and people to serve, but the waitress made it through another day. That night when she got home from work and climbed into bed, she was thinking about the money and what the lady had written. How could she have known how much she and her husband needed it? With the baby due next month, it was going to be hard. She knew how worried her husband was, and as he lay sleeping next to her, she gave him a soft kiss and whispered soft and low, "Everything's gonna be all right; I love you, Joe."

My cellphone's beeping sound woke me up one night. Used to receiving important messages only, I grabbed my cell and sleepily pushed the keys and read the message.
"Hi there! Care 2 b my txtmate?"
Not knowing who the sender was, I deleted the message right away and placed the phone on my bedside table, I tried to go back to sleep.
I had just closed my eyes when I heard the message tone again.
"Hi there, again! Care 2 b my txtmate?" again, the message said.
"Who the hell could this be asking for txtmate at the wee hours of the night?" I asked myself.
Again, without bothering to reply I deleted the message.
I was never a 'textmaniac' - someone who enjoys texting anyone and everyone even at the wee hours of night, not to mention during the day. My parents, who were always out of the country forced me to own a cellphone. They told me that having one was more convenient - they could monitor me even if they're miles away.
I wanted to turn the unit off, but since my mother was fond of calling me at night, just to check if I was safe at home, I decided not to.
Just as I was to close my eyes and return to my dreamless sleep, the phone beeped again.
Same number...Such determination!
"Ply reply 2 dis msg & b an angel & save me frm dis abyss of emptiness!!!"
I never knew why, but the message struck me. I got up and pushed the keys... I just realized I was replying to the message.
"Im not an angel, n f u want som1 2 save u, m not superman... I'm just a simple prson who u wake up at dis r of my nyt!!! Nway, do I know u?" I typed.
Seconds later came the reply.
"Nope. U don't know dis lonely soul. Nor does she know u. But I want 2 b ur frnd. I'm Mikaella Cervantes. U?"
"Just call me Julius. How'd u get my no.?" I sent back.
"Hi Julius, nice 2 meet u. Just shuffled the last two digits of mine," she replied.
That was the first and maybe the last time I met someone over the cellphone.
We exchanged messages and learned so much about each other that night. We only said goodbye when my alarm clock rang at 5:00 AM! I had to prepare for school!
And that was also how it all started. A day would not pass without it loving and thoughtful messages from her. It was only then I had learned to appreciate text messages and become eager and excited everytime my phone beeped, hoping it would be her.
Mikaella brought out something about me that I never knew I had; I realized I could also be a romantic person... even if it's just through text messaging.
"Keep me as a frnd & I will keep u in my heart. Lock it up & throw away d key so dat no1 can evr tke u away from me..."One day, she sent this message to me.
I replied: 'In life, we seldom find a true prson & f u evr find 1, hold on & nvr let go... value dat prson coz it's lyf's gift worth keeping & holdin on..."
I never knew why, but her response sent shivers to my spine, " Value d people hu hav touched ur life bcoz u will never know just wen dey will walk out of ur lyf & nvr come back again."
I couldn't understand what I felt that moment, but one thing I was sure though... I could not go on a day without a single word from her. I'd become used to having her, eventhough we had not met personally. But truly, she already occupied a space, a large one, in fact in my life.
I texted her back. "Dont come close f l8r ull jst pass by; don't touch me f l8r ull jst let me cry; dont luv me f l8r ull jst leave me and won't stay..."
I didn't know why I sent her that message, but somehow I felt, every word came from my heart. In the short span of time we were sending messages to each other, I knew, I was starting to keep her in my heart.
I called her once. The voice on the other end was like an angel's. Soft, kind, full of love. Yet, there was something in it I couldn't define. We only talked for a few minutes. Before she hung up, she told me not to call again. According to her, it would be better if we would just text each other.
But the voice kept ringing, not only in my head, but in my heart, I'd long to hear it once more. I tried to call her again, but she never answered the phone. She just kept on sending messages and quotations, which I copied in a little notebook. Hopeless romantic? I didn't know. All I could say was that all the messages she sent me were wonderful, they came from the heart and cut through the heart.
"Though we r miles apart, u r always n my heart. I close my eyes & der u r. Even f I'll see u never, I'll always b hir 2 care 4 u, far longer dan 4ever..."
One December night, she sent me this message. By that time we had been exchanging messages for more than a month. God knew how happy I was. She was right. Although we had not seen each other, what we felt was enough to make us both realize what was keeping us together.
I sent her another message, "Loving u secretly is a hard thing 4 me 2 do,hoping, wondring that u will feel d same way 2, but I can't read r mind f u luv me 2. But whatever it is, I'll still be loving u."
"How I wish I cud really tell u how much u mean 2 me, but m afraid 2 love, scared 2 get hurt... I hope dat u will wait 4 me & pray dat u will not get tired of loving me...=)" was her reply.
And then I replied again. " The reason y I met u is bcoz of destiny but f destiny will suggest dat I'll live w/o u, den, I'll lie not by destiny but of free will."
Whenever I asked her when we would meet personally, she always answered, "Soon...soon, love...soon."
Not seeing each other did not lessen, even a bit, what I felt for her...rather, it even grew deeper and stronger each day. And I was sure, she felt the same way, too. Love messages continued to flow through our lines, between our hearts, which made us go on each day with the thought that sooner, we would see each other, face to face, heart to heart.
Just a few days before Christmas. She stopped sending messages. At first I just though she had ran out of prepaid.
But there was something that kept bothering me... I couldn't understand what was it, but it made me fell nervous. I tried to call her but she wouldn't answer. Nevertheless, I continued sending messages.
Suddenly one night, just three days before our Lord's birthday. I heard my phone's message tone again... at last!It was from her!
"Oftentyms we say gudbye 2 d 1 we luv w/o wanting 2. Though dat doesn't mean dat we stopped loving dem or we stopped 2 care. Sometyms, GOODBYE is a painful way 2 say I LOVE YOU."
I was dumfounded. I didn't know what to think of. What did she mean? I texted her back, searching for answers, but found nothing. I called her but she would not answer.
For the first time in my life, I felt so miserable...desperate... empty. I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to lose her. I had learned to love her. And I wanted to be with her forever.
The following days I felt nothing but emptiness. It seemed that Mikaella took the life out of me. I missed her so much...her messages...The tones that would tell me she'd sent another loving message. Nothing around me could feel the emptiness I felt.
Tut...tut...tut...tut...tut...just a day before Christmas, my cell beeped again. It was her!
"Meet me at d café, 10 AM 2day," I read aloud, making sure the message was true, then I jumped with joy upon hearing from her again. Hurriedly, I got myself ready and I went to the mall. I knew it was still early, but I wanted to be there before she arrived.
I arrived at the meeting place ten minutes earlier. I was surprised to see her already there, smiling at me. She was very beautiful, Black, deep-set eyes that spoke a thousand words; small, kissable lips; a nose perfectly chiseled and long black hair - everything in her was beautiful. And yes, her eyes radiated kindness and love...but there was a flicker of something in them...sadness?
"Hi, Julius," said the angelic voice I had been dreaming of each night. The voice that I had waited to hear for so long. "Please sit down." "I am very pleased to meet you, Mikaella," I said, as I took my seat and gave the roses I brought for her.
"Thanks, Julius," she smiled, obviously pleased with the roses. I knew she loved pink roses.
"You are always welcome, Love" "Julius, I can't stay," she said, sadness in her voice, or was it tears? "I really must go."
"But we just met, Mikaella. Can't we talk a little longer?" I asked, pleadingly.
"I can't really. I just came here to see you and thank you for the time you shared with me. Thank you for everything, Julius. I will never forget you...you will always be here in my heart."
She was looking at me straight into the eyes, and I could really feel the sadness in her voice and I swear, there was something in her voice and I swear, there was something in those lovely yet lonely eyes...
She got up and smiled at me, lovingly.
"Tomorrow morning, please come and visit me," he said and gave me a piece of white linen paper.
I read what was written and when I looked up, she was gone. The following day, Christmas, I woke up early and excitedly readied myself,thinking of her. I hurriedly went to flower shop and bought a dozen pink roses - for Mikaella.
They lived in an exclusive subdivision.
Upon reaching their house, I told the guard who I was and that I was looking for Mikaella.
The guard stared at me, sadness and amazement in his eyes and told me to wait as he called the owner of the house. As I looked at him while he was going inside the house, only then I noticed that the house was brightly lit.
A woman went out and walked towards me, smiling sadly.
"Hi, I'm Maria, Mikaella's mother. Please come inside, Julius." While we were walking towards the mansion, she explained to me why she knew me very well - Mikaella had always been talking about her friend, Julius. I hardly understood what she was saying. I was busy thinking why Mikaella's mother was crying while talking to me.
As we came near the great hall of the house, it dawned on me that there was a wake inside, Maybe, a relative passed away, I thought. But deep in my heart, I was trembling and afraid.
As we entered the hall where so many people were silently mourning while others were praying, shaking, I asked her mother. "Where is Mikaella?"
She held my hand and silently, led me to the coffin which was surrounded by flowers - pink roses, nothing but pinkroses.
No words could explain how I felt when I gazed at the coffin and saw who was lying there. The same beautiful girl I met...
A man came beside me, I knew he was Mika's father.
"We are so glad you came, Julius. Mika talked of you all the time. She even asked that her phone be buried with her.
She said that in that way, you could still send her messages and you would always be with her."
I couldn't believe everything... My mind was in limbo.
"But how can this be? We just saw each other yesterday."
"That can't possibly be. She passed away three days ago. She had been suffering from a heart disease since she was a child," said her father.
"But..." I couldn't find the words to say.
"She told us not to bother reaching you, "her mother said, still in tears," she said you will come, and here you are.
Pain and bitterness overwhelmed me. I cried silently beside her, staring at her lovely face, memorizing every line of my friend's face, a face I knew I would never forget while I was still alive.
After the internment that afternoon, I went to the chapel she hadtold me she went everyday.
Sitting there praying and crying to God, I held my phone and typed: "U taught me how 2 care; u taught me how 2 b kind; u shwd me how 2 lyk som; u shwd me how 2 luv; but ders 1 thing didnt teach me & it hurts mor - u didnt teach me how 2 let go. I LOVE YOU"
I sent the message, and though I knew she wouldn't be able to hold her CP again, I knew in my heart she would get my message. I never expected a reply, yet as my phone beeped again,felt a shiver down my spine. The sender's number did not appear on the screen, and tears rolled down my cheeks as I read the message.
"Let go of d hand of d person u love, but dont let go of God's hand. 4 if u hold 2 his hand. He may b holding d person u love n d ader hand 2 let u hold each other again."
"I will never forget you, Mikaella and will never let go..." I vowed to her and to myself as I left the church.

4E4! GO TO THE CHEMISTRY CLASS BLOG ANd tAG>>>>>>> www.chemistry4e4.blogspot.com :D! dont want to talk about today..sucks.....in many ways....

hi all! sorry for not updating yesterday. came back at 10.45pm from CCA Showcase/Carpark Duty manpower IC. was too tired to blog.well anyway, yesterday i think everyone was just thinking abt CCA showcase. no one's mind was on school. so after school i rushed home to bathe, take my no.3 and chiong back to school. was going to be late. so took taxi in the end... so had first parade. shout here shout there no voice liao. thanks so much yo maybelline. if not for her i cannot seperate them into groups properly liao. so after that display all the plagues medals and stuff.(MY PLAGUE STILL IN SCHOOL! ARGH!!!!) and then after that went to prepare for parade. had to damn it run here run there just to abide by shicheng's the OIC's instructions. hello....whos is the staff sergeant? :S . anyway. parade was okay i guess. only when we say pledge then got people notice us. so must thank me la of course... after that talked to cheanpin and alan awhile after the whole thing. and then had carpark duty until end of day liao.. go mac eat dinner then go home. thats all. sorry not detailed. kinda lazy. next time bah. until next time. byebye! :D

lessons as usual today. PE lesson was like fun? and the PE teacher got degree in sports science! i was like so happy to hear it when he said it. i shall have a talk with him sometime soon. :D . anyway, during recess changed to no.4. took my own sweet time. and took exactly 25mins to change to full smart 4. i think im fatter or something. put the velcro liao feel so hugging one.... well, after that got part B to fall in. honestly...din like the attitude of one cadet. somemore i thought she/he was very nice one lor... went to camp. sadded.clarence not there...wanted to wish him one...tsk.... well blah blah blah, skip skip. IMT results. highest score out of 20 only highest score is 14. attained by Syaza out miracle shooter. :D:D:D:D. after tat go back school to help with CCA showcase stuff again. put up banner with WeiTing. honestly he really talk cock alot la.. laughing the whole time i was with him....stupid boy....HAHAHA. after that went home with cheanpin. great times...great times...:D smiled like crazy...haha. alright gona do HW and iron no.3 then go sleep liao.

today was just another hectic day in the life of a secondary 4 student. after school had NCC meeting for like 3 hours. had lots of lectures and talks. hope they understnad us, as their seniors are very concerned about them. then now still have to do homework...hai....until next time then...BB

sian....blogskins that are nice are so hard to find. wanted to change one. but in the end ended up just changing my playlist la. i entered all the oldies inside. enjoy. i want make sure you all at least fall in love with 1 out of 9 of them. well mine is "to dance with my father again" by luthor vandross... bet you all din even know this singer existed. anyway, i think i so need BOTOX.

TIRED... tuition finished an hour earlier. cause i just went out and sat on the sofa and sleep... dont care my tuition teacher... see, being my teacher is never easy. :S well gonna chiong ISPLs, physics homework later... my life is so damn routined. i need to run away from home or something. do something out-of-the-box. something risky.YES, i should.





think abt it last night till today.and people do make mistakes. sorry.i know now what i should nvr do. and what i should. i get a second chance right? :(

alright, woke up at 7.30. go tuition from 9.30 to 1.30 like that. then go lunch. and travelled hom by myself. then slack here slack there. went out with my brother for shopping at Far East Plaza. so was on the train ride. started talking about O'lvls results coming out. and transfered to talking about what i wanted to do in the future. and so we talked about my personality and stuff. and he told me something quite true bah. we may have a certain character now. but that does not mean you will never change.and also talked about my future with my darling.:D.

after that he talked about how i should not do a job that is a trend. i shld think out of the box. i find it very nice to talk to my brother. its like really easy to communicate and stuff. im so lucky to have him. :D. then after that talking about our parents. how much my father came closer to us ever since he was temporarily out of a job. then on did we know how much he really loves us. and our mother, she shows she loves us every single day. just does not show it well. and when ever my dad goes overseas he always confirm call back to check on us one.my brother then told me he really wanted to study hard. he did not want to be a burden to parents. which was what i thought so too. damnit...i gotta study well....all in all im truly blessed to have a strongly united family. :D

as you know. what can 2 mature guys talk about. my darling la of course. so he talked bout how we started and stuff. how i should know my limits. and well i told him i knew my limits la of course. and he opened up to me. especially about the hurting relationship he had before. and he shares the same view as me! he knows that this kinda thingy cannot just jump into it one. must have experience. well, i felt sorry for my brother, he was insulted and hurt in that stupid relationship. leading me to find out. outside my brother is like a hard clamp. must deep inside he actually has a soft meaty spot too. after talking for very long, he concluded my darling is a good girlfriend. understanding and everything. YES! my brother approves! HAHAHAHAHA! so after that really went to shop.

i tell you all. my brother i thought he is like me. take damn long to shop for even one thing one. but i was wrong... he takes even longer! he take one hour just to buy a shoe la! he try size 40, then 41, then 42. and went off. then went back to the same shop again!!! urgh...in the end he buy one shoe i bought a belt and shirt. my shirt pink with black stripes!!!!! WOOHOOO! haha so after that travelled back by mrt again to westmall had dinner at burger king then go home liao. thats all for today!

gotta go tuition tmr again! URGH!!!!see you all soon!




p.s/ happy 2 months darling.i know i have not been myself lately. its just that sometimes i keep to myself and dont open up to you. i dont know why im like that. i wish i can change soon. all i want you to know is you now already make up a great part of my life. you make me smile, you churn up all kinds of emotions in me. emotions i sometimes dont even understand.everytime i think about you, you make me smile like i've nvr smiled before. you give me strength to move on in life. everytime i look in your eyes. i see the most wonderful person in the world before me, and everything just shuts out. the little things you do for me,the time we spend together, is what makes me love you so much.happy 2 months.

p.s/ goodnight my love. happy 2 months in advance. :D sorry to not be on msn to at least chat and ask how are you.but the medicine make me to sleepy liao. hope to see you soon... :D. sleep early, dont stress dont stress please. you may be the tired student fighting your way to make it up. and your lord is holding on to you.but i really hope you know, im there on your other side. to be strong, just so i can hold you up too.

from:Josh/your lao gong.

alright, shall post about ncc training. today, last lesson of the day. then found out im appointed OIC by weiting. so went to SOP class first. talk wasin, xinhui, pei shan and roshan. talked abt akshaya and roshan and many other things. i feel the roshan is actually one of the easiest guys to talk to. :D so started training. so many problems. no ropes, no test paper, no ncc room key. but in the end got it. thanks jiejian and yiren. :D and elfy and brandon for helping too. so all put inside ncc room. taking attendance. the part B,C thank such a damn long time. i dont know why, but i all of a sudden flare up like siao. scold the crap out of them. until ncc(land) keneth also tell his part B must show standard. and npcc all looking liao. as for my sea cadets they really shut up.


after that had first parade at upper parade square, finish liao then had test. blah blah blah, part B's mostly failed definitely. as for part C mostly too.after that part B was sent home early. and part C had drills. seriously their drills is not up to standard. side dressing until now sec 3 liao i still must teach. 90 degrees leg angle also cannot reach.in the end i scold them again. cause they shout like some guniangs like that. the marching on the spot also cannot do properly. so i showed them the standard. and deeply regretted.... cause in the end i put alot of pressure on my twisted knee and now i cant even walk properly. dont need do pe lo! :S. scold them say i one person also louder then all 12 of them. bloody hell. after that then last parade. and i was like having flu, injured and tired. and sheryl kept thinking im like emoing or something. liying tan too.... TSK... well thats all on ncc.oh ya, said bye to esther when she walk past. and she called me a pig again.... wth...

message to my part B's if you come across: im deeply sorry to say im quite disappointed. i may not know your personal lives. but excuses not to study for the test is just not up to standard. further more, not even knowing the theory for easily at least 5+ knots is just unacceptable. its not like you all really dont know me. i really love to take you all as my platoon. ever since last year i have been fighting to take you all. i believed that you were all the elite few. the one's your juniors will definitely look up too.and you all did prove my point. but now?during test you all can even go to another table and talk. falling in not just move around. can laugh somemore. you know how much it sucks to see my junior moving around like he/she owns the gound. want to scold him/her, yet cannot find the heart to? anyway,attendance is decreasing. attitude in training is also decreasing. hai.... i guess its my fault bah, a lousy leader produces lousy cadets right?sometimes i regret taking you all, thinking whether its my fault you all turned out this way.am i to blame?im thinking yes. but i want you all to know i will try my best. i sincerely hope you all do so too. hope you all can hold on to the words i told you all before you all were dismissed today. thank you.

sincerely, your temporary CSM.

to serve with pride and dedication.NCC

message to my part Cs: once again. sorry to hurt you all. im going to POP soon. all part Ds gonna POP soon. and right now, we really cannot pass the unit to you all like this. you all cannot even settle the conflicts between yourselves. how you expect to lead the unit? if like that, i rather wash my hands off you all and propose to close down the unit. dont waste your future junior's time.your cca showcase plan, not even done up. given how much time? at least a week. and you tell me you all cannot find time to meet up. is there really a need? like Mam said,you all can msn chat with your friends, boy/girlfriends. yet cannot talk to your own fellow cadets? is it that hard? if you were all seasoned leaders. someone should have stepped up to delegate, assigning the different job. can you imagine how shock i was to know the brochure was not even properly drafted. worse off all, you all din even know what each other wanted.one person do what he think, another does his own things? like mam said again. when she was in school last year. we the current part Ds sacrificed countless lunches and recesses just to make our training plans. have you any idea how fast the process has to be? did you know this stuff behind the scenes? you think you all do a training plan just like that and it can be carried out immediately? will it be so flawless that it cannot even be editted?let me tell you all, we have to make draft of plans on weekends. sleeping usually only at 2am. then pass to CO on monday. after editting is done on tuesday, tuesday have specialist meeting. then wednesday put on noticeboard. you know how many hours this takes? and somemore the reviews on every training about your performances we have to feedback after trainings? no right? TO THE PART C BOYS. i seriously dont know what is going on. yes you may not like them. i closed one eye to your behaviours, but you all better make up your mind and wake up your bloody idea. that goes to the part C girls too. your standard is not on a down low. it literally sucks. in fact i must say this horrifying fact. your standard even if its not lesser than the part Bs, it is at the most only on par with them. yet, you all have a year of extra training. coming up? going to be specialists?you think you can just stroll in and lead the unit? you think you can handle the stress of the planning?the answer is YES. i know you all can. i have seen you all bonded better together. somehow in the middle you alll fell apart.you all really have to find time, to solve your own conflicts, and settle down. all in all, i must say it is still us the part D's fault for not giving you all better teachings and attention. we are like your parents in NCC, you as our children are not doing well, we will definitely be upset and unhappy. i hope you all will think about it. all the best for CCA showcase.

sincerely, Staff Sergeant Josh

to serve with pride and dedication. NCC

alright, im so tired from the day's activities, just thought i should change blog song awhile. i repeat awhile... so will change back one i dont care. but this is a really nice song too anyway.going iron no.3 then sleep liao...

nights people.




p.s/the only thing/time that brightens up my day.is when im with you YOU YOU YOU YOU.

just went to read my darling's blog like i always do. :D just want you to know, darling! words may not mean much. but everything you say i grab it and hold on tight to it forever. after seeing those words. i was like totally speechless and dont know what to think. all i could do was just grin to myself.

there is really no remedy to this love. but to love you more.



BTW, in case you all dont know what is the embarrassing thing. i tell you all. haha.
me queueing up for food( i all translate to english)."auntie!faster lei! i want to get to my wedding." auntie:" marry ah? but your wife here what.(points to herself) must wait for me." so after like a minute. then darling came. talk talk talk. i ordered my 4 chicken drumstick. auntie goes:"here you go, your wedding must invite me ah." me:" dont need, my wife her already, (points to darling.)" HAHAHA auntie: "wait i want see! not bad very compatible, here you go la, i give you 5 drumsticks instead. " LOL!

thats all i gotta say, and i just have to use the quotes from twilight.







p.s/i dont have the strength to stay away from you anymore. :D:D

TWILIGHT IS FREAKING MELT-A-BLE AND GREAT.
THATS ALL I GOTTA SAY! MORNING EVERYONE! :D

today had Heart Of ISPL 2, a so called continued thingy of last year's. well i guess it was kinda fun. we kept finding places to sing with the best surround sound(echo) i was like walking into the girls changing room all the time until darling tell me get out. LOL. so we sang Im Yours by jason mraz. i must say we did very well. all of us except for keneth that it. HAHAHA. anyway, we din win a single prize. but who cares. we did well and had fun. thats all there really is to it. :D right? so end of the whole day liao ms ng call us gather. and i as ex-chairman asked to help gather everyone again...TSK. and she call out names of people who never hand in admin stuff. and after that i told her i dont know how to do the chem ispl finish. and she come talking to me abt what nonsense saying i have friends right? so i should ask them. LOL. so aliff being the good soul that he is help me through the salts ispl. but still i dont know how to finish... hopeless. after that went home then nap nap liao.


oh ya! anyway, no offense to most couples. but i believe that when your together or something. its always nice to look happy together...so called la..... just take note okay my readers? its like come on.... walking on singapore streets. at least see 5 couples. tell me, do any of them look happy to see or be with their partner? no right? so thats the problem. no wonder PM want more babies and more people marrying. but so many people still divorcing.


on a more serious note. have you all ever been stuck in between a battle between your parents and never know what to do? well that happen to me tonight. shall not elaborate... just like so sian... they not happy with each other... make me not happy also.... sad, at the same time angry. they really should think about the kids. i promise next time my kids will nvr feel the same way i do. i just want normal parents with normal attitudes.when your in those situations sometime the kids just want to break down. which leads to another thing....commiting suicide.


think okay!!!!it takes sibei alot of courage to even want to commit suicide. showing how pressured/pushed the kids are the their limits. so people. please nvr repeat the mistake of most of the parents this generation. must let our kids erm... live well. :D.

thats all for today. i really got no photos in my post hor? i promise promise put up some soon. a note to my readers: i think im a super nice blogger. im not like some who will chase down people to tag at their blog. i can see my blog got quite some visiters. but no one tag one. hahaha!so ya, im very very super duper nice. i just let you all read. and ponder yourself. BUT, its nice to see some reaction la. :D:D:D:D





p.s/ i got the present liao. thanks! sneakers!haha! its a gd fit btw, try liao. :D:D

alright. currently doing my ispl for chemistry.... still got 4 more haven do.... can die liao... and still got backup plan for cca showcase im in charge. urgh...die die.... anyway!

career workshop'09 was super duper super duper fun. know why? cause i got 10 points! no one knows what that means huh? well you all will never know. haha!!!! and i just love my pink shirt. :D:D:D::D was actually thinking that the whole workshop was going to be boring and stupid. but i must say i really gained lots of insight about the diff job prospects and stuff. and my darling cheanpin was comment for the girl really ready to go for interview! HAHAHA! and i was like going to punch the coach if he said something bad....until jessie must ask me relax...LOL. anyway... tmr is the continued thingy of heart of ispl. and my group of 10 people are already settled. want to sing im yours. which i think is quite weird. lol. well anyway, i gotta sleep liao, or else tmr i late for school almost like today...

OMGOSH AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!HOW TO FREAKING DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ISPLs ISPLs!!!!!!!!!!!!!HOWS TO DO HOW TO DO HOW TO DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MS NG I DONT WANT BETA FORM!!!!!!!!!!FORGIVE ME PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!I POLISH YOUR BOOTS FOR ONE MONTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

alright finally finished setting test paper. hope clarence and weiting will approve it. or else i no time to edit it liao i think. nights. or rather, morning...

alright it has truely been a boring day...wake up early then need go tuition liao. stupid tuition make me cannot even talk to my darling properly. making her depress. i hate my life. my life sucks. NO, its sucks more than its sucks. and now im setting test paper for my part Bs. need to calm down...or else cannot even think of what questions to set. and part Bs please study. thats all for today. sorry for the crappy post nowadays. its just crappy posts from a crappy person who is feeling very crappy. bye



p.s/im sorry your depressed.....
not talking to you is bad for my health...lol.... :S
see you monday....chants* "monday monday...mon..."
RMB down with rashes still then dont come. REST WELL.

today, was a super boring day, besides the fact i had to wake up early, there was a meeting early in the morning. dont want to say much, handphone okay le, but don want post photos anyway, feel the christmas mood over or something. i was a tour guide to 3e4'09 btw, and i think they are pathetic...nvr even listen to me one....if only mr quek was actually with us during the tour then that would have been better. after school got muster parade/promotion ceremony. great job to most of my part B's on promoting you all did well today. super shagged now. shall just laze around and decompose. omgosh i sound like bing chen. who incidentally, just took over my role as class chair person. :Dthats all , no mood to say anything. until next time. :)





p.s/we need to talk.